What is Balance??

How do we have a relationship and maintain balance? Now this is a question I have pondered for many years. To me the big question is: what is balance in a relationship? Does it mean that one person is the controller and the other is the follower? Does it mean that two people constantly battle for the controlling position? Life is so complicated with balance, balance the budget, balance the ecology, balance work and pleasure...but none of these things seems to be accomplished with any type of ease. So when we watch everything around us, how do we, as a couple, managed to balance our relationship. When we get married we exchange the vows of for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health and to love each other til we die. But at no point does it ever tell us how to balance our relationship. What happens when "life" settles into our relationship and "life" turns our magical little world upside down. At some point every relationship feels the pull, the tug of war as one of the partners starts to slip from the balance of life. When this happens the other partner feels the strain, the confusion, lost and unsure as to where the relationship is going. I feel that a relationship is like riding a bicycle with training wheels. The bike always stays upright and balanced, if not, the training wheels brings it back to center. We all need training wheels throughout life....the seas get rough, but do settle back to smooth and so do most relationships. So hold onto your training wheels, use them and don't feel weak by using them. Sometimes our friends are our "training wheels" they can listen to our confusion and assist in the balance of life. So hold onto the ride, and be grateful for the once forgotten "training wheels!"

What makes for a good long relationship??

Good Morning Everyone,
This morning, I am attempting to figure out just what makes a relationship. I am sure this is something that, even with my several years of attempting to figure out, will never be accomplished. Ok, the marriage vows, say....for better for worse....for richer for poorer....in sickness in health....these are pretty simple requirements for anyone to be able to follow. But the vows forget to suggest even, that marriage is a lot more then the words flowed upon our ears on the day of our weddings. It is a constant effort of attempting to keep a balance of your live and his life (or vise versa). It is wanting to keep a happy balance of emotional stablity to both parties. Now I have to wonder, how can we keep a balance, when in this day and time it is so hard just to keep one's ownself balanced. I know, you are wondering now, what is balanced??? Good question....I think it is a matter of knowing who YOU are and waking up every morning happy with who you are. Now that is half the battle. You are happy with you...but what happens when your mate isn't happy with themselves. It is your happiness causing your mates unhappiness. Do you spend time trying to figure out why your mate is unhappy? I don't think that works either, as when you are doing this is it taking away from your happiness. Or does helping your mate bring you happiness. Now, the more I think, the more confused I become again. Does it mean that two people can start off emotionally balanced and one party ends up draining the other party??? Do we always need to have someone we can lean on to keep us balanced. Is life like riding a bike with training wheels? You know, that kind of motion that allows us to go off balance for a bit, and then catches us before we fall.

Wind it up - it is SPRING!

Yes, it is... SPRING has come upon us...finally!!! I often wonder how we survive the long cold winters, but as I have my tea this morning, I am sure it is the thought of spring. The joy and excitment of witnesssing the birth of new leaves, flowers and just the lush greens of spring. But why does all this joy have to be confused with so much work from the winter's damage? Ummmm...nothing comes free? Ummmm.....the best things are worth working for? I don't know about that, I would just like to sit back...watch the flowers bloom and not have to do all the work required to have natural beauty! we have to rake the dead grass away to allow the new grass to push though and be stronger. Ummmmm....again I am ummmmmming...this morning. Is this like with life.....as we have something that affects our lives....should we also rake it away to allow for the new growth within us to emerge? Should we consider our lives and the changes that life gives to us as a spring. Spring requiring work to make it fresh and grow better. I do believe this is true for us as well. We can't go through life with all the dead branches, the piles of fallen leaves piled on ourselves. So this is it for today....clean out your mind, excerise that brain....allow the spring to be fresh and new, inside and out!!

Birthdays

So many times I talk with people and they just dread the up-coming birthday. Well, I must say I just don't understand why. This month, April, is always such a busy month in my family. First is my mother's birthday...a lady adding another year of wisdom to her life. She is now enjoying having fun. Going places, meeting people and using her few years as knowledge for the next adventure. Then we share the Grand-daughter..youth and innocense at it best. A big 7 years of widsom with wants, hopes desire to learn, and the unknown adventure of life ahead of her. OK, here is the big one....Gramps....can you believe we just celebrated his 97th year of life yesterday. Ninety-seven years....he has witnessed, automobiles, electricity installed, dirt roads turning black with pavement, telephones and now he sits in a world of advanced technology..computers, cell phones, satelites, GPS's, and just the fast pace of life that has been handed to us. He will talk in his calm voice of the simple hard working ways of his life-time. His life was not complicated by electronics controlling his every movement. He could go to a job-site and get the required days work done without the complaints of the truck broke down, ran out of gas, the power saw wouldn't work, the delivery didn't come. It was just simple! He went to work, brought his hand saw, hammer and nails or his mechanics tools and did the job. He didn't worry about rushing out to the bosses big dinner party after work. He didn't worry about the pressures of who had the biggest degree attempting to oust him from his job. If he did the work and did it well he kept his job..simple as that! He worked long hard hours every day, but he just knew that was what he was suppose to do. He never thought there was an easy way out or a quick way to make the buck....simple easy and no fast pace stress. He worked, he went home to his family. They didn't require a car for each member of the family, they didn't require huge cell/cable bills. He didn't rush to the grocery store and spend more money then he had. He went hunting and fishing...filled the freezer. He grew vegetables, that my Gram canned for the winter months to come. Maybe that is why is is now a functioning human being at 97 years of age.
So now with my own 58th birthday almost upon me I ponder the "what are importants of my life". Friends that had been lost on the journey of life are now coming back to me..stronger then ever. Family has become my main reason for breathe daily. I also have settled back to the simplier things in life that Gramps has always shown me..but why must we spend so much of our lives figuring out the already simple ways of life???

Wow, we made it! My son is married!

Tax Day! Ummmm....for lots of us, this is just not one of the top 6 holidays that we look forward to. My son has, however, given to me a wonderful thought for tax day. We are off to a his wedding in a few hours and that is just the start of a brand new life. It is so amazing how many times that couples, who have lived together for an extended period of time, just can't seem to understand that it is really all the same thing....but the piece of paper and the emotional status of the word "commitment". We live in a world, that it is just easier to get the divorce, then to deal with that scarey word - commitment. I am just not sure why it is such a hard word. Does anyone out there have any idea as to why this word causes life so much confusion???? It is just a word, like, love, hate, want, need, forever....no we don't have much trouble with all of those words. Is commitment like a something we are conditioned to be able to walk away from..like my trying to quit smoking. I go to bed commited to the fact that I will not smoke the next day....I break that commitment almost daily....Commitment...for better or worse, for richer for poorer....well that is all easy, as these things happen to us as a normal part of life. Maybe we should just change the word to "attached" to each other, or mates for life like the wonderful morning doves. For them it is easy....so lets just take a breath and reach out to avoid that word that causes so many issues with relationships!!

Mother of the Groom!! OH NO!!!

Here it is the day before my son's wedding. It is such a different place, then when my daughter was married. I sit here thinking that every Mom should be totally involved in all of their childrens' activities, but when your son gets married...there you are....out in the cold....a foreign object in a waste land. Ummmm...ok, it is good to let go and let others do the majority of the work, but when you are so conditioned to do everything yourself...this just becomes a difficult thing to do. Sit back..wait for it to happen..WAIT for it to happen...my God, it will all happen if you don't even have to have a piece of the action!!!! All right, catch your breath....you did raise your child...you did give him good values...you do trust him...Now is this all so bad??? No, just just relax..go pick out that perfect dress to wear to his wedding and enjoy the day. No labor and you get a new daughter! Now that is a pretty easy thing to do!

It is spring here today....the daffadills are in bloom and the bleeding hearts have opened their eyes to the new world presented before them. When you live in an area that buries you in cold and snow, spring is a welcomed relief. But I find spring to not always be a happy time for couples. We stuggle and survive all winter...we hold on to each other, as that is the only hope for survival, but with the warmth and freedom....it also brings heart-ache to many couples. Spring should be a time for rejuvinating a relationship. I would like to have kept track, through all my years, how many couples take spring as the time to "run-away". To look for the new relationship in life or just a new life without cold. The struggle of winter has taken it's toll and couples are tired. Cold...ummmm....that applies to relationships as well. Cold, when you just go forward one day to one day....cold......when you forget the inner glow that the love once gave you. If a relationship, that has gone cold, we should be able to shovel it away as we do with the snow or at least hold onto that love until the sun can melt it away. I guess it is just another test of life, that we should endure and not run-away. We need to absorb the vitamin D the sun gives to us and we should take that warm breath and continue with the once had love.

Here it goes, I am in the start of a whole new world to me....but my knowledge is still the same, about life, marriage, weddings and the confusion that is prone to cause us all. Today is the best day we have had for many months now and it is almost impossible to think of anything, but warm days, sunshine and the easy flow of life around me. So for today, thank you for following bridal blues and I look forward to sharing life with you!!